As the weather warms, why just do spring cleaning, when you can embrace the latest craze called the Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning? This trending approach to decluttering one’s life can be seen as a popular series on the Peacock Channel and is inspired by the 2018 book of the same name, written by Scandinavian author Margareta Magnusson.
In her book, Magnusson explains that “death cleaning” is the process of decluttering one’s life, so that loved ones are not tasked with the responsibility. In Swedish, the exercise is called ‘döstädning’ — a combination of the word ‘dö’ (which means death) and ‘standing’ (which means cleaning).
Reflecting on her own experiences tending to the belongings of loved ones who had passed, Magnusson urges readers to consider the immense time and energy this requires of survivors, which could be better used to grieve and celebrate the life of their loved one. She says that taking care of our own belongings is the ultimate gift to our loved ones.
According to the author, the process of clearing one’s personal items can have potential benefits for both the person cleaning out material objects and surviving family members. Giving or designating items to those who are the intended recipients cuts down on misunderstandings and stress for all parties. Going through personal items with loved ones also gives the opportunity to share stories and celebrate memories.
The slim book is loaded with advice and encouragement to help people part with their clutter, as is local organizing expert Victoria Reynolds, who says, “Clutter is merely unmade or deferred decisions.” According to both Magnusson and Reynolds, ‘death cleaning’ isn’t about being morbid, and it is not just for those who are more advanced in years. Committing to making those decisions is a step anyone can take in their lives, and one that everyone should consider.
Reynolds, a licensed psychologist, noted that clients of her business, Nest Home Help, range in age and need; from a teenager whose parent was tired of the debates about picking up their room, to families who were moving, or a person with three generations of possessions in the family homestead, all needed a little guidance on organizing and weeding out their possessions.
Her clients report that clutter can feel heavy. “They can see the spent dollars that are going to no use, and that can be a source of anxiety and frustration,” Reynolds shared. “Everything that comes through your front door, it’s all inventory. And you must manage it, store it, clean it, maintain it and make decisions about it.” While material objects can feel overwhelming, so can the task of getting rid of them.
Reynolds shared some of her best strategies with the Gorham Times readers. Start small: sometimes the best approach is to start with “that drawer” we all have in our homes, or a closet. For those closets or rooms, start with what is on the floor, it feels like a quick win. Sort items: begin with creating piles, based on keep, donate, or gift, and throw away. With those items you choose to keep, use containers you already have to put like items together, and tape and marker can make labels for easy locating. Invite friends or family to identify things from the donate/gift pile they would like to take.
Create categories and designated spaces for seasonal items: Once sorted, establish area for like items such as holiday, camping, exercise, sports.
Commit to the process: Time is always in short supply. Put realistic blocks of time on your calendar dedicated to decluttering. Set a timer to make yourself accountable to the time commitment.
Celebrate your progress: Take a before picture, and an after picture to help. Tell friends and family your goals for decluttering if that will help you be accountable. Find organizations that help others to which you can proudly donate items.
Conquer the hardest items last: Defer decisions on sentimental items until you feel prepared.
While Magusson urges readers to not get sentimental about objects, Reynolds coaches people to remember that they can extract a memory from an object. “It’s not the physical item itself that resonates and gives back all the beautiful memories and all the beautiful exchanges. You can visit those in your mind and in your heart at any time.”
Keep the most important things, for now: Reynolds suggests that people make memory boxes of mementos such as correspondence, news clippings, even taking and keeping photos of items you give away, if revisiting them will bring you joy. But she also adds that it is important to give loved ones permission to discard the box once you are gone. “It’s your memories, not theirs, and being explicit about this in advance simplifies the outcome.”
Call an expert: Whether you are trying to help a friend or loved one or are just too overwhelmed to take the first step for yourself, there are experts who can help. Reynolds states that her company Nest Home Help, as well as many others, can offer various levels of assistance, from one-time consulting, to guided sessions or accountability plans, or even full clean outs. She also noted that she has assisted clients with monetizing their unwanted items, helping to defer any costs.
Technical assistance with this article was provided by Victoria Reynolds of NESTHome Help, Gorham, nesthomehelp.com.